dark quiet night of the 11th of august
I've officially been an adult for a month. I cried at work today. I don't want to go to school in September because it will be my last year and that is frankly terrifying. There is nothing I want more than to sit in a boring class and doodle all over the edges of my notebook. That's most likely not true, I'm probably just romanticising it because I miss it. Already. Or maybe it's because I just can't imagine myself living any other way. I've found my place at school, it feels like that's where I belong. It's the only social situation I feel fully comfortable with, the only thing at which I really excel. It's kind of heartbreaking to leave behind a system I took more than a decade getting properly used to. Am I supposed to just throw it all away only to spend another decade getting used to something else? Because I doubt it gets easier. I doubt my life will ever feel easy even if it is easy – I'm still just a teenager living with my parents, selling streetfood for minimum wage because I've got nothing better to do all summer after failing the internship I worked so hard to get into.